Input from Adult and Peer

Peer:
 I think you add a little too much detail at the beginning,It gets sort of boring. Also try to make your sentences flow better I think you have a very creative story but you need to add some finishing touches. Also there are some spelling and grammar mistakes that you need to correct
Adult:
Juli,
Your myth is very good and it had a really good twist that I was not expecting, I think you need to work on using other words, or finding other words because you are over using some words. Also you should work on the introduction which is a little too detailed. Overall you have a good story. Xx Mom